My problems right now is trying to go to bed with a clean house. My kids do not like to clean up. Of course they will do it for a treat but I want to not always give them candy for something they should do. Also they leave their shoes at friends houses or go out without them on. It drives me crazy especially when they come crying because they got hurt. They wouldn't if they would just have left their shoes on.
Lately I've been wanting to work on not venting about my problems with my husband to others. I don't want anyone to have this bad taste in mind of him. I know when he has vented about someone at work to me, I start really disliking them. The next day he will have worked things out, but I still have these awful feeling toward them. I haven't forgave them for what they said to him. I don't want anyone to feel that way towards him. There are times I just need to vent. I've vented in my journal countless times, but the problem I'm finding with that is...
If my kids or even Tyler read it later they will think I hated my marriage because the only time I wrote was when I was mad. I'm not very good at communicating my feelings and I'm not a very good listener when it comes to Tyler. How can I because a better mother and wife?
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Your too hard on yourself!
This IS a stressful time, 4 little kids. I remember getting the itch to start 'doing' stuff, but I couldn't because Cooper still took up so much of my time. I couldn't exercise consistently, I couldn't plan my meals the way I wanted to, I couldn't have the 'me' time I wanted. I'm not out of the woods yet myself - but it does get easier once your youngest is a little more independent and will play by herself. For now though, set up a priority ladder. The first wrung is keep your kids safe, 2nd - fed, 3rd, 4th etc.(Until Laidy is about 2.5-3,I dont recommend more than four wrungs - anything extra that you happen to accomplish that day is nice - but not necessary). Then just know that each day you start at the bottom of the ladder - only go up as far as you can that day - give yourself kuddo's if your kids are safe and fed. To everything there is a season - and having a clean house,or rock hard body - all the time - is not first on your priority ladder right now. If anyone thinks less (which honestly your probably the only one who is being critical of yourself) proudly state to,them or yourself, that you know where your priorities are.
Also - remember that being a mom is code for 'life-coach'. It's your job to teach them how to be functioning adults. BE PATIENT and NEVER GIVE UP!
Remember how many times our mom changed the rules when we were kids? Now, as a mom, what I take from that is not how many times her rules or ways of dealing with us failed, but that she kept trying! If something is not working, tweek it. Be creative, if you get burned out -no biggy, try something different - something simple. Your children will know (even if its not until their adults) that what your trying to teach is important by your never failing attempts to teach it.
Some days what gets me through it is simply saying "When your older you'll thank me...When your older you'll thank me..."
Another favorite mantra of mine is
"If I don't teach them this now, I'll be doing this for them when their a teenager"
Love ya sis.
p.s. Designate a journal as a VENTING journal. Write a disclaimer on the front that IF someone chooses to violate your privacy and read this - be forewarned that entries were written in the heat of the moment to prevent you from causing them physical harm!
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